Friday, June 12, 2015

Title Change

I don’t know that I ever explained why I named my blog Flawed Perception, but today a better title came along. Flawed Perception is all about the way I see the world. When I was a teenager those Magic Eye pictures became very popular. I remember that my French teacher was a big fan and had several books of Magic Eye pictures, and all the time I spent staring at them never let me see the “hidden” picture. (Ewwww it’s a schooner)
All of the other people in my class would say things like.”You gotta relax your eyes.” There is probably a medical reason that I cannot see them no matter how much I relaxed my eyes. I have astigmatism. That is the excuse that I use that I CANNOT see those Magic Eye pictures. My eyes just work differently. I see things differently (Hahaha! You dumb bastard. It’s a sailboat.)
Flawed Perception goes deeper than that though. Sure my eyes don’t work very well, but I am surely functional. My worldview is different than the people around me too, and that has been true most of my life. My Mom still likes to tease me about the time I came home from school crying and asking her and Dad to get a divorce so I could be like all the other kids. (A schooner is a sailboat, stupid head.)
I have fought being a cynical jerk for years. I manage to hold off the cynical part, but I am very likely a jerk. It is a title I am willing to wear with pride. I embraced the soul of who I am many years ago, and most of the time I don’t find any reason to doubt myself. That is a comfort in the day to day grind of life. (You know what! There is no Easter Bunny! That over there is just a guy in a suit.)
Flawed Perception is such an apt branding for me. I like it. It is fitting, but it isn’t necessarily the entire story. It doesn’t sound autobiographical, and let’s face it, dear reader, this blog is a fluff piece that chronicles my continuing adventures. I have written about my heart breaks, and my triumphs have certainly spent their time on these pages.
Kevin Smith has put out a couple of books out. One of them was titled “My Boring Ass Life.” That undoubtedly gave me permission to start davidsboringblog.com. For the record, it is a good read (his book not, necessarily, my blog). I often quote Kevin Smith’s movies. They have been influential for me. The truth though is that Flawed Perception is not the name of an autobiography. It doesn’t have that right and proper title.
Today as my Mom and I were discussing the immediate future and what all is going to happen next in life I summed everything up as Sex (because it is a way a pregnant woman can get exercise), Ice Cream (because it is an ok snack before bedtime), and Crazy (because in the scope of everything that has gone on with me in the last few years I have found happiness in some real insanity). Crazy didn’t quite flow, but I liked the other two so much I immediately renamed my blog. In my highly visual imagination, I can see me publishing an autobiography with this title. Hopefully, I can lead the rest of my life in an interesting enough way to really call for that book to be written. Until then I will peck away at these keys and share my thoughts.
That explanation probably raises more questions than it gives answers. The best things in life do that in my experience. I want to be made to think, I want to reflect. I want to hold a mirror up to life and love the reverse image I see there. These days I like what I see.
There is more gray in my hair than I have ever noticed before. I enjoy seeing it. I don’t foresee a day when I want to color it. It is funny how much I like being older. The year I turned 30 was one of the happiest of my life( and I blogged all about it) When my (now) ex-wife walked out last year I didn’t believe that this year was going to be one worth living.
That goes to prove that the easiest way to make God laugh is to make plans and believe you know what is going to happen. I damned sure did not see what was coming next. My family was drawn closer together. My daughter and I have a better relationship (when she doesn’t want to kill me). We have (mostly) healed from all the past drama and poorly handled situations.
I. naturally, took my comfort in the arms of a beautiful woman. I doubt anyone reading this is surprised by that. Whitneigh and I have been friends for just under a decade. We had always kept a proper distance since she had been married most of that time.
Not long before my marriage abruptly ended so did Whitneigh’s. That obviously isn’t my story to tell, but I find it worth saying that neither of us had anything to do with the other’s ending nuptials. For all the guilt that both of us have for past sins, We are innocent of those charges. I have to say I am glad both of those relationships fell apart.
That allowed us to find each other. Something about “us” seems different. I feel like I have found my proper partner. We have joked that our hair and our eyes are the same color and it helps us to match even though we don’t favor enough to be mistaken for relatives (a sin in dating I cannot understand). Poetically, our vision is bad to the same degree. We found this out comparing our contact lenses and had quite a good laugh. We both have Flawed Perception, but we have the same Flawed Perception which is infinitely comforting.
Whitneigh and I do a good job of balancing each other out. She has a fancy and whimsy that meshes well with my stability and predictability. Luckily, we do pretty well as us. We are expecting a daughter together. That in and of itself is a long dreamed future that I didn’t think was possible. In another universe, I am sure there is a David with 10 happy kids that has been married since he was 18 years old. That guy isn’t me, but I am quite pleased with the path that I have chosen.
My life continues to be full of Flawed Perception, but now it is getting more interesting. It is probably well past time that I changed the title. It doesn’t look like I am going to stay single long, but that is ok. I am pretty comfortable with Sex, Ice Cream, and Insanity.

It sure as hell beats what came before.

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