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Showing posts from May, 2018

Status Update

This blog, like all of the ones I have written before, has experienced a period of silence recently. Just like those old blogs, the reason I have not posted anything new is that I have been preoccupied with living life. I will say it is very hard to write about a life when all you are doing is writing. Those quiet pauses (hopefully) are filled with inspiring experiences which fuel my inner narrator and makes it easier to put my fingers to the keys. When I wrote Emotional Integrity I was thinking about how much had changed for me emotionally. I kept that post so very vague and generalized in order to broadcast something that I was hoping a few people would pick up on to prevent hurt feelings. This failed FANTASTICALLY as my secret evil plans are want to do. Let me speak to this specifically. I know, for a fact, that I am going to hurt some feelings here. It is what it is. I was very, very wrong about Ashley. If you are reading through my old posts after she left me there are some unki…

Emotional Integrity

I really enjoy fleshing out my website. Posting content here feels like building something. I like the creative process. I also like looking at the “legacy” of my writing. I have been blogging since 2005. Much has changed in that time. My blog has had 5 or 6 different titles. I have been single, married, divorced, remarried, estranged, and in limbo. I have had good jobs with a full bank account and been unemployed and broke. As for things happening during the last 13 years, I have written a lot more about the losses than the gains. When I read through posts from 2014 and 2015 I am ashamed of myself. I used my blog as an emotional dumping ground without knowing the whole situation. I will say that if you read those posts remember there are two sides to every story. The other thing to remember is that reality is based on perception. Perception often changes. Reality is dragged right on behind it. You can find yourself in a very personal Hell when your perception is suddenly corrected. …

The Soul Crushing Path to Freedom

Many people were shocked when my Mom died suddenly in January. A lot of those same people were even more shocked when my Dad bought a motorcycle. I think I blew everyone’s mind when I started riding with him and he bought a second motorcycle.  The truth is, I have wanted to try out riding a motorcycle for years. As far back as 2001, I was shopping for a way to get into the motorcycle world. Every single time I started talking things over with my family Mom was the major factor in me choosing not to try and learn to ride.  Even Dad got in on the act. He pointed out what a lonely lifestyle it can be. You rarely see a couple riding on two motorcycles side by side. Sure, there are times when there is a girl on the back of a bike, but you cannot exactly have meaningful conversation whipping along as 60 miles an hour with your butt in the breeze. Better, then, to stick to what you know.  I started riding in March. Dad gave me pointers. I like to think I took to it like a fish to water. I l…

The Ground Game

I hate the idea that I have pulled a metaphor from football. It isn’t that I dislike sports exactly. It is more that I don’t feel anything for that world since I stopped playing sports years ago. To improve this, I am going to use ground game metaphorically in the sense of combat. When a guy in a fight drops a guy to the floor and proceeds to beat the shine out of him, that is a really strong ground game. Also, if an offensive line of a football team is great at running the ball (as opposed to passing) they have a great ground game.  Lately, I have been saying that I have a solid ground game to mean that I have the basics in my life sorted out. The job is solid. The house is clean. I have good transportation. I can afford my bills. I eat well enough. I have clothes on my back. The grass is mowed. The kids are cared for. I am feeling well physically. I am feeling balanced emotionally. Spiritually my house is in order. In life strategy, I would say having a really good ground game is t…

The Wizard’s Task: Conclusion

It had been a few years since I had been behind the wheel. I was probably enjoying the experience much more than I should have when I glanced down and noticed I had run the 4×4 up to 75 mph. I hadn’t noticed a speed limit sign in a while, but I imagined that these little mountain roads did not top 45. Slowing down didn’t ruin the excitement, but I decided to turn the radio up to enhance my enjoyment. I tuned in the Classic Rock station and enjoyed the last half of Brown Eyed Girl. Traffic was incredibly light. Cades Cove offers bike riders the right of way to the park by not opening their gates to cars until 10 am on Saturdays. Once upon a time, I had been an avid biker. Perhaps when this errand was behind me I would buy myself a mountain bike and get back into it. I was feeling good enough that I might actually consider getting back into the real world.  As I turned onto the main road into the Cove my radio cut out as neatly as if I had pushed the power button. I glanced at the radi…