Clearly, that cannot continue.
This type of living, the type I have chosen up to this point, will not make me the man I want to be. Over the past few years, I have noticed a change in my thinking. My mind is ravenous for challenge and conflict. It wants to overcome.
Physically, I have found my challenge. Every chance I get I am training hiking up a steep trail at House Mountain. The trail is a 5.8 mile loop and climbs 2100 feet. It kicks my tail every time I go, but I love the hurt of it. I love that I breathe hard. I love the sweat. I love the pain during and thes soreness afterward. It is outside my comfort level. It also feels like I am training for something bigger.
The motorcycle is also a challenge. I ride in the heat. I ride in the cold. I ride rain or shine (within reason of not dripping with water at work). That is a change from my carefully heated or air conditioned car. It is also a challenge being safe in traffic. I think my way through situations as much ahead of time if I can. I plan my routes smarter. I move through traffic to distance myself to a bubble of relative safety. Sometimes that is slowing down. Sometimes is speeding up. I love leaning deep into those curves and being more agile than most everything else on the road. It pushes me to improve my physical life so I can be faster, more balanced, and lighter on my feet... and tires.
Mentally, I am a lot more cutthroat and savage than I have ever been before. Oddly enough, this isn't a change to my rather kind and honest nature. I am just a lot more assertive about what I want and what I want nothing at all to do with. I am no more abrasive than I ever was. I am just a lot less compromising. I don't make the sacrifice quietly inside myself. I push for what I want. I have found, all too often, it makes it a lot easier to get what I want.
Sexually... well, this isn't that type of blog, is it?
My view of a successful life has really changed. A younger David always saw the future as financial comfort to the place of being able to only pursue the things I want. Now I see the friction of life as the motivation to get leaner, stronger, and to keep moving. I want to be a little uncomfortable to keep the fire burning in my belly.